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Squilliam: I just wanna watch you blow it.I just hope that.Squilliam doesn't find out! Squilliam! What are you doing here?! They're just gonna have to find another band to play. Squidward: I knew this was gonna happen.SpongeBob: Now let's make Squidward proud.So, if we can all just pretend that Squidward was a fireman, or some guy in an ambulance, then I'm sure that we can all pull together and discover what it truly means to be in a marching band. SpongeBob: And Larry, when your heart gave out from all those tanning pills, who revived you?.Evelyn, when your little Jimmy was trapped in a fire, who rescued him? Squidward's always been there for us when it was convenient for him. SpongeBob: What kind of monsters are we? That poor creature came to us in his hour of need, and we failed him.I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident. I really had expected better of you people. and crushed it! Crushed it into little, tiny, bite-size pieces. There's a deposit on that equipment, people! Settle down, please! Nancy: Oh, so now the talking cheese is gonna preach to us.Harold: Bring it on, old man! Bring it on!.Krabs: Well, these claws ain't for just attractin' mates! Harold: Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't try to play with big, meaty claws!.Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us. Everybody ready? And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four! Okay, new theory. Squidward: So, if we play loud, people might think we're good.People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right? And I know that you haven't improved since we began.but I have a theory. Squidward: Well, this is our last night together before the show.Plankton: It's tremendous, you wanna see?.Squidward: How's that harmonica solo coming, Plankton?.Squidward: Okay, that's perfect, everybody.Patrick: Aaaaaah-ho-ho-ho-ho-aaah! Whoever is the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on.Patrick: Kicking? I wanna do some kicking!.

Squidward: No, SpongeBob, that's a chorus line.

SpongeBob: Is this the part where we start kicking?.

Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.

Squidward: Okay, try to repeat after me.

Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you. Horseradish is not an instrument, either.

Squidward: No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.

Plankton: Do instruments of torture count?.

How many of you have played musical instruments before?

Squidward: People, people, settle down! Okay, now.

That trilobite didn't know an oboe from an elbow.

Squidward: Stupid music rental clerk made me late.

Puff: And be forever adored by thousands of people you don't know.

Plankton: Then become part of the greatest musical sensation to ever hit Bikini Bottom.

Sandy: Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?.

Squidward: I gotta drum up a marching band fast! Drum.

Squidward: Hold it! It just so happens that I don't sell fast food, I do have a band, and we're gonna play that Bubble Bowl! How do you like that, Fancy Boy?!.

Squilliam: I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now.

So, I was hoping you and your band could cover for us. The problem is, I'm busy next week and can't make it.

I'm the leader of a big fancy band now, and we're supposed to play the Bubble Bowl next week. Squilliam: I hear you're playing the cash register now.Squidward: Squilliam Fancyson from band class?!.Squilliam: Sounds like you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh, ol' chum?.You've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Gill Gilliam: Yeah, uhh, we're with the pet hospital down the street and I understand that you have a dying animal on the premises. This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Band Geeks" from Season 2, which aired on September 7, 2001.